We went to dinner at a friend's house last night. The vegetarians had vegetables and everybody else had lamb shanks. This wine was delicious. The image on the label reminded me of a picture of Oscar Wilde.
The Petite Syrah by this same vintner used to be one of my favorites, many years ago. The label was different then but similar enough that I recognized it right away at the wine store.
Lamb really is delicious stuff. I know that it is one of the most insulting meats to eat to those who would have you believe that vegetarians are somehow helping along evolutionary progress, and meat-eaters slowing down our march towards human god-hood. In that sense I am quite indelicate, indulging my carnal passions freely. Isn't innocence just delicious when baked properly?
The hostess of the evening told me that she does not eat anything that once hopped with joy for being alive. I was relieved when I got there to find that the innocent but wily little beast was already cooked and we weren't forced to make any moral decisions on whether or not to make use of its remains. It was delicious. This one hadn't hopped for joy too much, it was quite tender.
When it comes to lamb I am very Catholic, almost Greek. This thing tasted so good it felt as if I had captured and consumed it mid-hop. There is a sense of victory in its flavor. After the first taste I was tempted to chase the rest of it around the room before pouncing on it with my saber-teeth, might even have my "lipstick out."
That would be a great theme restaurant... the patrons could chase already cooked meals around a large dining hall, gorging themselves on delicious veal and lamb and other sexy critters. When the platters, which would be driven along by an unseen remote control car underneath, had been attacked, then a pre-recorded sound of the little living creature enjoying sunshine would play as the customers feasted on the sexuality of power. There might also be private rooms where you could enjoy some casual rape of the food before eating it, or during, even after, for those who are just twisted enough to indulge in such a depraved manner.
Whatever.
No, this would never work. It would end up being ruined by bad press, or being completely misrepresented by SNL (far more likely), and the investors would lose their asses. Not their donkeys, they would eat those on off nights. I meant they would lose their investments, their asses, etc.
In a perfect world we would be able to have sex with anything we chose to and all liquids would be made with wine.
No comments:
Post a Comment